you got the music in you

things stressing me:

• Best friend A is having a bad day.
• Best friend B will not answer phone.
• I am living out of boxes. Having been living out of boxes for 2 weeks. Will be living out of boxes indefinatly. Moving sucks.
• House is in a perpetual state of dirt. Everything is kind of gross. I miss feeling clean. Living on a construction site sucks.
• Washing machine doesn’t work. No clean clothes.
• I’m emotionally spent. I have no more energy to spend on the drama I always seem to attract.

I want this summer to be over. I want to go back to school, very very very, badly.  I’m homesick for my college, and I wish I was there. I miss my friends, the mountains, and everything that surrounds me there. I feel guilty, because I should be enjoying the time with my family, but my heart longs to get out of here.

A month since I’ve written! Crap. Work really is consuming my life.

A bunch of drunks came into the restaurant where I work tonight. Their bill included 200 dollars worth of topshelf alcohol, and when I left, they were still working their way through martinis. As I walked out the door they burst into the chorus of “Sanitarium” by Metallica, complete with drumming on the table with plates and untensils.

Been too busy to write. Cramming, then finals, then coming home, and now work. I’ll try to keep up with everyone, but no quarentees. I love y’all, and miss reading everyone’s blogs on a daily basis. Today was my last day working construction with my dad, and tomorrow I start work at a restaurant, so hopefully I’ll have some free time now.

The last weeks of school I found myself getting closer and closer to God. I feel that for the first time in my life, I’ve really built a relationship with Him. It feels weird, not going to church now. At school, I went twice a week, but there are no churches at home I feel comfortable with. The church community at school is very close and tight-knit, and we were all good friends, especially with the Fathers who gave mass. Most of my friends at home don’t go to church, and neither does my family, and I almost feel a bit like a “Jesus-freak”. I don’t really mind though, I think that is a bit of a good thing.

I am still debating if I want to go to med school after I graduate. I know I want to work in drug rehab centers, but I don’t know if I want to become a psychiatrist, RN, or simply work with patients through talk therapy. All I am really sure of right now is that I want to be in a career that helps people.

In two weeks I’ll be home for the summer. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I feel bad, because I kinda want to stay here with my friends. Although going home for the summer means no classes, exams, homework, and all that fun stuff, I really love it here. Granted, the months where I was sick were terrible, but I have some of the best friends in the world here. Going home means working and being under parental jurisdiction again. But we are taking a road trip Unfortunatly, I havent really kept in touch with my friends from high school, but maybe this summer I’ll be able to hang out with them again. Who knows? Oy. Its late, I have a 9:30 class tomorrow (today).

I just want to open up and pour love onto everyone who walks to my life. Then I remember where that got me. I just like loving people too much is my problem.

I’m weeding out the bad people in my life. I have good friends now, good people around me. I don’t want to have all of my old “friends” around any more. I don’t want people who turn to me as a fallback, people who tell me “You can’t leave me, no one thinks you’re worth it.” I guess that bullshit doesn’t flow with me anymore.

I am truly starting to fall in love with God. Sometimes I listen to music and I feel that He is talking to me- I know He would never give me more than I can handle because He loves me. I used to struggle so hard to hear anything, and all I had to do was listen to my music. For the past 8 years He’s been singing to me, and I never really realized it.

see more crazy cat pics

MOUNT SAINT MARY’S IS GOING TO THE BIG DANCE!!! MARCH MADNESS!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 *dances*